Thoughts of a Sprite

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Fiddle stix

What would we be without our imperfections? Everyone is flawed... and I think sometimes it is the little imperfections that I like most about a person. You are who you are, but sometimes accepting this is hard. I see things that I want to change about myself, but I do not know how to get there. I know that I "sweat the small stuff," I know that I should not be so hard on myself, or others, when mistakes are made... I know I should be just a little more lenient in accepting change, and I am trying. I try to let go of the things that haunt me, I try not to judge people before I get to know them... try not to assume the worst about people.

I am slightly bummed out about school right now. I somehow managed to get enrolled in the wrong statistics class, one that I don't need, and that I do not have the prerequisites for. My grades were struggling; I was pulling a high C average. I had to drop the course. It would not be such a big deal, but I feel as though I have failed. It is my first semester at the big university, and I have already had to drop a class. I could have used the credit as an elective, but it would have pulled my GPA down. I was advised by three professors that if I wanted to get into grad school, I need to keep my GPA up!

There are lots of other things that bug me about this school. They do not have someone that does transcripts, so none of my credits have transferred, I have 71 credit hours and only about half of them count towards my General education requirements. If I want the rest to be transferred, I have to look up the course description and submit that along with a form to transfer credits.

And: I have to take the SAT2 for Spanish... I took Spanish 10 years ago, yes I am that old. That was my freshman year in high school. So I don't think I am ever going to graduate.

On top of all of this, I have not gotten home before 11 pm every night this week... I am completely drained. I was so ready to just get up and walk out of that advisors office, it was not even funny, I have never wanted to quit so bad.

I am so looking forward to getting off early, and having a nice relaxing evening, I might play the game, or watch a movie, or who knows... I might just go to bed!

Then there is this emotional issue that I have been dealing with lately. Ever since Grams passed, I have been thinking about kids. I want two kids... I always looked forward to the thanksgiving that we could have five generations together for dinner... but that is not going to happen now. In order to have kids, you have to have a partner, which I don't... so I am pretty sure, this is still a long way off. I am just ready to get my "life" started. I would like to be married a few years before I have kids... but at the rate I am going, well anyways... I have dreamt about it, I could still smell the baby when I woke up. His cry still rang in my ears.

Well that is all for now… I will update soon!

shes_a_sprite @ 11:42 AM.

1 comments

Rachel said...

Change is difficult, I look at "change" as a never ending process because I think of it as evolving, it takes time.

I am sorry school is bumming you out, it sounds to me you are now experiencing the unorganized higher education system. They never transfer any units correctly if at all and the advising is a joke. Just try to hang in there and move through their chaos.

Chin-up pretty :)

3:42 AM